8:17am on the 401 on an ironically sunny morning, stuck in traffic behind a 4Runner, feeling a bit of fear of what this week will hold, a sense of happiness came over me. With loud reggae blaring through my open windows I whipped open my phone to record a special moment for me. I was just at 99,999km in my car. I realized then that today would be the day that things roll over; we are blessed to have defining days. I returned home from the office a few hours later after it was confirmed today was to be an end of an era.
When I was told today would be the beginning of the end, I didn't take the news like a boy or a man, I took it like a monk, as though I was being told something I already knew: There's not much more I can do there, there's not much more I wish to do. Generations change and I've lived through three of them at hp. The worlds of sales and IT are as fast-paced as advertized, in a short time you run the risk and reward of becoming very old very fast. I've lived through experiences, joys and hardships, at hp certain people will never come across in their entire careers, trust me I've been through it all. On the one hand it's made me feel weathered at times, and according to Mamie made me appear to be 35 when I was only 26, on the other hand it has left me with the fulfilling feeling that I've achieved everything I needed to before leaving: Long hours do pay off even if the currency seems foreign. I came out as a different man than the man who entered. I learned a lot in each role amd there's a story beind every addage I might say. Being an administrator taught me to need, being a sales rep taught me to want, being a people manager taught me to truly cherish. Being an SSR taught me relationships are important, being an ISR taught me relationships are necessary, being a manager taught me relationships are everything. Being an SSR was a constant reminder that I have a life outside of work. Being an ISR was a constant reminder that I have a life at work. Being a manager was a constant reminder that what I wanted outside of work was here inside this place. I can look a few people in the eyes and say you're a better person to have known me, but I can look everyone here in the eyes and say I'm a better person for having known you. I live my whole life in in 4 year increments, with a year of overlap. It's my way of cheating the despair of having only 1 life to live, instead I live many tiny lives.So this feeling is very familiar; the ever dreaded 'what's next?' At this point I'm left with hope, or well, hopes. I hope that given the less than graceful exit circumstances that I might have more than graceful exit compensation. I hope that I can use this moment to change the trajectory of my life, since I spent the 4 years at hp working out the callibrations. I hope the people who loved me remember me, the people who hated me forget me, and that the indifferent at least remember that I tried. I hope to see all of you again, and at least some of you again and again. I hope Denise wins the lotto max on the 2 free plays we have going before I leave, or if not I hope that everyone endorses me on linkedIn. Beyond that, in terms of being let go and how I feel about that, I think I learned how to deal with my last days at hp on my first day at hp. Over by the entrance to the elevators I learned sometimes 1 door has to completely close for the other one to open. Life's best lessons tend to smack you in the face in front of everyone. I'm happily embarrassed.
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