Choking

He asked me what he could
Do to make this better
To make me forgive him
But he had already done it

He had finally freed me from his refuge

She's Not You

This waitress doesn't have your laugh
The one by the bar definitely doesn't have your smile
I could hardly wait to finish my drink and get out
Of the conversation with the one in the tight dress

I keep going to different places just to wish you were here

Meantime

I have to think
Think my way out of this
To a safehouse on the hill
Where you can find me and relieve

My mind​ to pursue its dreams​ of grandeur

Storms

I've walked the whole way home
Myself, under the bitter crackle
Of unseasonal freezing rain
And as it turns out after I dried off

I was fine

Leisure

I used to enjoy the idea
Of everyone enjoying themselves
Now I see how much evil is in
Sitting here by my wellspring

Afraid of a thirst I have never known

Resort

My body is his playground
His body is my beach
I don't want to explore it
I just came here to unwind

And take in the warmth of his embrace

Backside

I hope he beats it into me
All that love of his
I would give anything to feel
What I assume he's​ getting out of this

Harder, please God, harder

Assisted Masturbation

She can't see her face
And forgets that I can
Closing her eyes so tightly
To try and be here with me

Trying not to see the mist between us

Natural

He thinks he understands
He doesn't see how hard I tried
To force out affection until
I just couldn't lie anymore

And I hated how true his feelings were

Doesn't Add Up

But I'm still left wondering
Why were you that nasty
I just don't buy that you were
Punishing yourself through me

When tormenting me became a game

Shells

I'm afraid to feel excited
In the face of successive small wins
As I was afraid to feel disappointed
In the face of successive small losses

Worst of all, I'm afraid I feel nothing now

Buckle Down

Spent all that time
Worried about the far off
Until it came crashing into today
Now today, and today, and today again

Is my only hope for tomorrow

Fencing

Look at you
Hurting yourself like that
Instead of hurting me with the truth
You need to stop silencing your heart

Before it silences you for good

Heavy

I don't want to search for you
I think it's time you just found me
I've left enough impressions
Heavy as I am in mass and disposition

When will you endeavor to move me

Frozen

I know you can hear me
Though pride has sealed my lips
I'm reaching across the room
Presenting you with my cold shoulder

Waiting for a warm word to break me free

Bon Voyage

There will be hills to climb
And of course the deepest trenches
But after all of the effort and pain
When you finally make it to the flatlands

Your heart will have found its true desire

Consolation

For the better
Is pretty assumptive
When you have no clue
What life has in store

For a worn down lover

Grateful

He knew he had to discard
The scent of her hair in his sheets
Before it turned into an odour
At which point he thanked her

Realizing she had done the same

Saturday Night

Across town is a girl
Who wished she loved me
And it hurts just as much as the
Girl across town that wished I loved her

They're both short on love and my pockets are out

Oncology Unit

I don't have one anymore
Not even a single day to waste
After seeing her in that bed holding
Onto every minute despite the pain

I can't let this feeling take away another moment

Outta Here

Honestly fuck you sadness
You've given me nothing
Except more of you
Which I don't want

Anymore than​ they want me

Nuzzled

This time I swear
Is the last night I lay
Hugging your pillow and
Smelling your remnants to fall asleep

To think I used to admonish these fallen hairs

Trials

He deserves his closing argument
Look at him trying to prove his case
I know he wants to put me away for life
As though I haven't already sentenced myself

He shatters my innocence but for leaving I am not guilty

Stains

I promised myself
I would do the laundry
Specifically the bedding
Wash clean our last embrace

At least from the place where I dream

Nights

Oh right, this feeling
The crippling silence you
Want to deafen but know
You should embrace until

You can let go of the sound of her last words

Stalled

It was so easy to tell myself

That I didn't want to do anything

With anyone except you

Now there's nothing I can do with you

So nothing is what I'm busy doing

Zoo

I'm out of lovers
They all want to forget me now
Or worse, they want who they
Wanted me to be for them

It's harder to love a tiger outside the cage

Remains

You're still in the sheets
As well as on the couch and in the
Second chair at the breakfast table
I haven't moved a thing since you left

As a second attempt at keeping you

Three Two One (March 21)

You're on your way now
Got everything you needed
You've dislodged your thruster
Because you only needed me for

Lift-off

Free Ride

While you're in there
Dancing back and forth
I'm out here in the cold waiting
For you to even decently indicate

Whether you're coming or just enjoying yourself

Havana Moon

Patience isn't always
Rewarded, in fact I'd argue
Panic more often gets the prize
I can only hope the pay for all this wait

Comes seldom but in handsome fashion

Relief

She's hasn't had
This much relief
This much pep to her step
For as long as I've known her

All it took was showing her the exit

Bojangles

I'm a comedian
With old material
I traded myself
For their laughter

Now there's none left

Palliate

How do you plan a sunset
Do you start with the fading sky
Or focus on the bright horizon
Do you despair the fallen sun

Or make amends with the rising moon

Effort

As if he thinks
It makes it any easier
Knowing how hard he tries
And how difficult it is

For him to love me

Packing

Gather your things
Along with your feelings
Our memories too
I've noticed the boxes by door

And I know it's almost month end

Sleepless

This mattress
Is jagged stone
This pillow has been
Hot asphalt on both sides

Each night since you left

Dark Night

If this ends
It will be more peaceful
Than if it continues
As it is with any death, but

I have no use for peace without bliss

Different Pages

It's hard to tell
That I'm here
In this room with you
Were this a screenplay for lovers

It would need much stage direction

Touch

You've avoided my lips
For over a week
And my hands
As best as you could

For longer than I can remember

Room and Bored

I too seek refuge
From this poor provincial life
While my open doors have not
Protected you from the banalities of the town

Do you not desire the nightly reprieve of my made bed

Crust

I am the rubble
That surrounds diamonds
After so many torturous years alone
When my beautiful work is unearthed

I will not even have labours to give me worth

Laundry

He waits until we're in public
He wants everyone to see
What little he sees in me
Ganging up to knock me down

Until someone agrees he can do better than me

Love Slave

Addictions tend to masquerade
Themselves as indulgences
While we think we are leaping to love
It's the loneliness we're fleeing

That sweetest escape from the pain of self

Circular

She thought of me
All on her own
I invited her in
But you invited her over

When you didn't think of me

Bare

We forgot this is paradise
This sweltering sunlight
We prayed for under the rain clouds

Now the passionate heat renders us naked

So truly nothing between us is hidden or unseen

Last Lap

If this race was
Truly far from any hope
I too would saunter to the finish line
But since we both agree it's a close one

Let's give our last lap everything we've got

Bedrest

There's more need for sleep
And less need for dreams
From this, I need lots of rest
But hardly more motivation

I know I deserve more

Adrift

I keep having
To remind myself that
I'm not in love with you
It's easier than knowing

You aren't either

Balm

With one stroke
Of your finger
Along the edge of mine
You salve the remainder of my body

As worry departs my skin like steam from fresh bread

Off Your Pulpit

Perhaps religion
Is the worst thing
To happen to faith
And perhaps my devotion to you

Made it impossible for me to be faithful

Deal

I see the light in you
I'll help you find it
If you help me with mine
I know where mine is

I just haven't been able to spark it

Bestowed Upon

I cry someone else's tears
Never my own
Every time we fight
She had the same problem with you

I've only inherited her labour of facing your fears

Silent Treatment

She has a voice
He's never heard it
Under his it hardly whispers, but
Like a precious stone lost in his deep well

Her silence demands he hearken her faintest sound

Care

He really thinks
Taking care of me
Is the same thing as
Caring about me

And he sticks to his strengths

Allegiance

Ain't no black stars
On that there flag
Ain't gonna be any never
Don't go off thinking any

Brown or yellow stars coming any sooner

Knelt Before

You know your silence is a
Canon ball that sits in my heart
I can hardly pump life into myself
Let alone us, with this weight in my chest

I hope you see that I'm at your feet