Night We Met

My expectation was to have my
Wide-eyed thoughts of whom I might seduce
Crushed by circumstance and introversion
Instead it was every night before the party

That would reduce to cliche

Shoulders

Last night I felt so unsafe
In my own bed
Like any moment could break me asunder
Tonight, between your shoulders

The same bed feels like my fortress

Math

Have you even done the math
Counted how many hours you spent
Chasing her affections and then
Claiming with your typical audacious pride

You don't have time for all this shit

Touch

Does he really touch you like I do
I mean this without ego
There's time later for jealousy
I mean when he touches you do walls crumble

If the answer is yes, go

Spills

Everyone gets lost in their own
Admiration for your perfection
I think even angels deserve vacations
From being angels

I want to get lost in your messes and spills

Enough

From you I can only expect
Waves
Always enough time to learn my lesson
Never enough to avoid your crashing

Gentle enough to reconsider the shore

Selfish

Legs asleep under yours
Hair constantly in my face
Hoping you never move
However selfish either of us feel later

These moments were worth stealing

Reward

You rewarded all my love for you
With complete neglect
You rewarded her neglect
With all the love you kept from me

And ask me now to reward your honesty

Craving

That smile of hers
Undeniable to the craving spirit
Like flaxen hair in the afternoon
And long black curls after sundown

A bounty for light and heavy hearts alike

Facade

Hair skin and fashion
Underpin all that we have
Too many tears sure
But honestly too many prideful smiles

Over a facade we've built with no foundation

Concern

If I'm writing
Sadness
It's because I can now
It's because I'm happy

Don't manufacture concern

Seen

All I know is for the first time
Someone wants to see me
As much as I want to be seen
Which I haven't felt with you or anyone prior

I pray daily for a reason to pass this up

Knew

When I saw him I knew
I was in for another season of nonsense
I didn't really care whether he'd be
Good for me or good to me

I just knew he was already part of my story

Tepid

Treat love as you would tea
Where too hot and too cold
Can both be tempered by time
But beware lukewarm

Tepid hearts need immediate care

Walk

My greatest fear is separation
Between destiny and destination
The union of which I think is
Every reliable description of true happiness

How could I ever be the one to walk away

Destination

Love is fuel
Running on empty has caused a stall
Which over time has led to atrophy
And in turn a longing for a return home

Which is at least closer than the destination

Scrub

I may have lost your scent
Having taken off your sweatshirt to wash
However I lay here sweltering
Overclothed in your embrace despite

So many attempts to scrub away your stain

Ashes

How many months more of
Strict dedication to you
Will it take to quell
This burning guilty flame

Or will I fail you all the way until ashes

Ghost

I'm gonna live my whole life
And never hold your hand
As your lover, however lovingly
I die each night to this feeling

So sure, befriend a ghost

Vacancy

It's easier now
Retaining the power in our dynamic
I remind myself how
Little I actually need to feel about you

It's a matter of matching vacancy

Drug

I used to need you
To fall asleep
Now I can't sleep
Thinking about you

You're officially my drug

Same

I'm stuck
Right where you left me
Same exact place
I wouldn't call this waiting

Just not necessarily moving on

Froze

You love my stillness
Not my ripples
Surely not my crashing waves
You're only here to see your own reflection

I only froze over to convince you to stay

Ask for

You keep asking me
What I want, what I'm looking for
I want someone to give my heart rest
From my experience it's a lot to ask for

So I don't