Perish

Why even act out
No one will see
I'll just perish
She can't have me live on in her heart

My legacy would only kill the host

Accepting

Not the ending I expected
This is what I said I wanted though
For you to be happy even before I get there
I'm supposed to like this

I'm just tired of being the person who's supposed to like this

This Train

Beyond my volition
There is peace
Beyond resolution, control or discernment

There is a day of truth

Whether I walk or run on this train is without consequence

Ctrl

Praying for climax like
Trying to cup my palms tight enough
To keep you from slipping away
Wishing I could just throw them behind me

Have you find your way inside me without my own doing

Turtle

What is homesick
If that place was home
You shouldn't have left it
Home is every place I end up

I only leave where I can't afford to stay

Excavate

I just don't get you
You don't wish to be understood
And that's your given right
More of a burden than a privilege if you ask me

Burying your gem so deep only he can find it

Molten

Look at him laying there
Afraid heartbreak has made him soft
Waisting his one chance to remold before
Cold regrets leave him hard

Unable to remove those scars

Porto

Knowing you'll likely not return
The same, or even at all
I remain at your port
Prepared to see you drift away

Until you've left behind a horizon worth chasing myself

Localize

I want to be wanted
More than I want to be desired
Knowing the difference is the glimmer
In the cloud of having been neither

At least now the sorrow is half as vast

Mutual

Why validate yourself because you feel used
Don't condemn him for it, embrace
Embrace that you too are using him
Find peace in knowing you used each other

Instead of finding sorrow in feeling used by each other

Chicken

Anxiety and self-interest
Chicken and egg
Cause and effect and then cause again
The chain doesn't have to continue

If you're brave enough to face the weakest link

Draft 2 - Chicken

Anxiety and self-interest
Have a chicken and egg relationship
One causes the other
When you can't manage anxiety

Manage self-interest

Draft - Chicken

Anxiety
Is a chicken
Selfish interest, the egg
Which came first

Does it matter

Liquidate

I owe you my body, it's yours
You make me feel safe enough
To say that without fear
Of betraying myself

Again

Theseus

Is this the day
Before the day
I just give in
I'm taking in water

Is that why you jumped

Disposses

I must accept
What I wanted for us
You didn't want
With me

He will have my happiness

Drown

Laying tears against a receding shoulder
It's worse than drowning
I already admitted to my despair
Now you deny me even hope

Culpable as you may be in my rebirth

Blip

At least I know now
I don't want anyone, period
This search has been narcissistic
I'm not out there or deep in here

I'm a projection of desire against failure

Addiction

When everything isn't working
The consequence is obvious
Find the one thing that does
This is how I found you

Why it's impossible to cure me

Composition

How exactly does love
Soften some of us while
Hardening others
What in its nature magnifies in us

The desire for a different surface but the same core

Short Changed

It dismantles me to know
You handed him your desire
You craved the little he offered
When I gave you every last morsel

Which for you couldn't even make change

Veritas

If you never get here
Consider yourself blessed
Ignorance isn't bliss but it's better
I'd rather not know how little you feel

For how much I felt

Blank

I can't envision it
Even in my most calm state
I don't see a future
Not even a desired one

Not even the struggle itself seems worth it

11:50

Yea, the world is the lens
Through which you view it
Well I've tried on nearly every pair
It's not looking good

I don't see a future

Vanish

I came
Out if hiding
You were no longer here
I should not have expected it

Least of all had you promised

Expectation

Fat, black and mild-mannered
Dignity is not my expectation
It was my weaning hope
Of you, you who was different

I'm unlikely to accept if you change

As a man

After the anger and all that
Is actually shame
I will not take care of you
I did not, take care of you

Which is why moving on is impossible

Pick up

I don't tell you for your sake
That I think about it
Contemplate
How easier it would be

If I were to leave it all behind

Caste Aside

Never change
Just keep being you
Single, alone, desperate, unloved
Someone has to build all that character

While we build castles in the sand

Live Fast

When the young die
They immortalize themselves
Having never grown old or
Weary and disappointing

Will we, or rather us, die young or old

Reduce

Butter and toast
Outside on a warm night
Who has ever not smiled with that at hand
To think how hard we try to manufacture

This simple feeling with more complicated ones

Below the Clouds

Beautiful sunsets
Normally follow the worst days
Yet our clouds aren't rose painted
I would have liked to mark this milestone

Perhaps celebrations only follow true progress