TIFF Meditations - Ship of Theseus

Plank by plank life is taken away from me. Her joys, her friendships, her successes, her lovers. Plank by plank life is restored.

 Time will do this for me, he is a tireless servant of change. He does everything according to plan and follows his orders despite my requests. Never does he halt nor take caution; he has no freedom and works without fault. But me with all of my freedoms, I should look to time for inspiration, for I take caution where none is needed and stand still before green lights. I can change myself, I need not fear it. Plank by plank I can restore my life.

I wonder, if I change too much too fast will I still be myself? Like the Ship of Theseus* I wonder what will become of my identity? Surely I will not be entombed in this body forever. This body that changes each day and will soon change to naught. But what of my other planks, the things I hold near and dear to my identity. My anger, my sensitivity, my beliefs, my disposition, my motivations, my ideals, my dreams. Which of them should I keep and which should I change before time changes them for me?

 [Relate to character's plot developments]

If my planks - my body, my words, my actions - are just the vessel and my identity is actually my life story, my great quests and my character in times of strife, then I am not attached to my planks. Let each plank that accepts water in the face of the great tide be replaced. Let each of my beliefs that sink me to sadness be replaced by beliefs that keep me afloat. It is neither time for this ship to sink nor return to shore. I am on my journey and by faith I know I have enough planks to make it, old and new. Some planks were meant to take you from shore to shore and others were meant to take you only most of the way. Sometimes you have to risk being wrong to truly know when you are right. Life is ordered even when it is hurtful, and the great sea will swallow the weak and glorify the strong.

The planks I have, the person I have become, will go far, but I wish to go farther than far. There is much more out there for me to learn, I miss learning. There is much more out there for me to experience, I miss experiencing. It's time for a change. Today is the day to go down to the gallows and search for puddles, not to admonish myself for them, but to bless the puddles, for they will lead me to the planks that need reprieve. When I look at my life in this light, it's all quite elementary really.