Are there heights to which we were never meant to ascend? Are there the depths to which we were never meant to sink?
I think about free will a whole lot more than I act upon it, but when I do I wonder if there are moments in my life that were meant to happen whether I wanted them to or not. It's not altogether a bad feeling. It's one thing to have an idea of what happiness might be and another to know it. The same goes for pain, and I think a great life needs both. My dad used to say life is like fruit punch, the best ones are not too sweet and not too sour, but altogether more sweet than sour. But in a less general sense, because I think we all will find a way to experience pain and pleasure - if we have two much of one we will search for the other - perhaps I'm going through all of this because I was meant to? The heartache, the unemployment and debt, the frustration, the physical injury, all at once.
Before it seemed I was dealt the absolute worst hand with these five cards in front of me, but poker is a man's sport and when you're on your last few chips and it's looking bad at the flop, go all in and wait for the turn - you'll either bluff or luck your way out of it. So maybe I was meant to touch ground, once again. Maybe the usefulness of my past fortunes have served their purpose. I was meant to know power, for no great man should live his whole life in the shadows, but now my kingdom stretches further than those walls. I was meant to know love, completely, from all angles; just as a man wishes to know his woman, and as we wish love to know us. I was meant to know debt so that I would know the true value of what I was paying for. What truer currency is there than payback hours? The value of money will swing to and fro with interest rates enough to keep the majority of the public on the treadmill, but when you're paying stuck interest you know what is worth the exercise and what isn't. Frustration is beautiful; only when you face that which you do not understand do you come to understand it. I've reached a certain age where the only remaining growing pains are mental. Which isn't so bad, because physical pain just sucks. I could do without this ankle injury, full stop.
So here I am in life in those building scenes before the climax, where secrets of the past are beginning to unfold and hard lessons of the current day are remolding me, and while I'm now rather convinced that I was meant to endure these hardships, I'm still left wondering why. To what end, or more positively to what new beginnings? This movie and my life's movie has me looking for a little bit more closure. When life has you facing more than you ever thought you would or could all at once, you start to wonder what else there. But this is not the time to wonder. I'm free from all the hardships of yesterday which is God's way of giving me the pen to write tomorrow's triumph. I can feel the pen here in my left hand, I dare not insult God further by trembling and fearing what I should write. It's time to just write. It's time to just write. I have time to just write. It's time to just write.
Time is our best friend and worst enemy. Our short lives spare us from enduring all of the world's hardships but prevent us from experiencing all of its bounty. Beyond that, there's enough time to experience the highest heights and lowest lows, as long as we use it all. Make the most of time and time will make the most of you.
I think about free will a whole lot more than I act upon it, but when I do I wonder if there are moments in my life that were meant to happen whether I wanted them to or not. It's not altogether a bad feeling. It's one thing to have an idea of what happiness might be and another to know it. The same goes for pain, and I think a great life needs both. My dad used to say life is like fruit punch, the best ones are not too sweet and not too sour, but altogether more sweet than sour. But in a less general sense, because I think we all will find a way to experience pain and pleasure - if we have two much of one we will search for the other - perhaps I'm going through all of this because I was meant to? The heartache, the unemployment and debt, the frustration, the physical injury, all at once.
Before it seemed I was dealt the absolute worst hand with these five cards in front of me, but poker is a man's sport and when you're on your last few chips and it's looking bad at the flop, go all in and wait for the turn - you'll either bluff or luck your way out of it. So maybe I was meant to touch ground, once again. Maybe the usefulness of my past fortunes have served their purpose. I was meant to know power, for no great man should live his whole life in the shadows, but now my kingdom stretches further than those walls. I was meant to know love, completely, from all angles; just as a man wishes to know his woman, and as we wish love to know us. I was meant to know debt so that I would know the true value of what I was paying for. What truer currency is there than payback hours? The value of money will swing to and fro with interest rates enough to keep the majority of the public on the treadmill, but when you're paying stuck interest you know what is worth the exercise and what isn't. Frustration is beautiful; only when you face that which you do not understand do you come to understand it. I've reached a certain age where the only remaining growing pains are mental. Which isn't so bad, because physical pain just sucks. I could do without this ankle injury, full stop.
So here I am in life in those building scenes before the climax, where secrets of the past are beginning to unfold and hard lessons of the current day are remolding me, and while I'm now rather convinced that I was meant to endure these hardships, I'm still left wondering why. To what end, or more positively to what new beginnings? This movie and my life's movie has me looking for a little bit more closure. When life has you facing more than you ever thought you would or could all at once, you start to wonder what else there. But this is not the time to wonder. I'm free from all the hardships of yesterday which is God's way of giving me the pen to write tomorrow's triumph. I can feel the pen here in my left hand, I dare not insult God further by trembling and fearing what I should write. It's time to just write. It's time to just write. I have time to just write. It's time to just write.
Time is our best friend and worst enemy. Our short lives spare us from enduring all of the world's hardships but prevent us from experiencing all of its bounty. Beyond that, there's enough time to experience the highest heights and lowest lows, as long as we use it all. Make the most of time and time will make the most of you.
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