I was originally going to retrospect on the decade past, but this really isn't the forum for that, is it?
Looking back on the last year, as some of you know is my tradition at the end of the year, I don't have much regrets. I would have enjoyed making more money, and I hope next year will answer that call. I would have enjoyed losing more weight, but I'm finding a way for it to stick this time around which might prove to be revolutionary. I certainly could've used more sleep at night, I need to develop a better method for tackling Monday to Friday, especially if I'm going to be adding more to my daily routine. I could've used less McDonald's, honestly Monopoly this year was a joke. And so on, and so forth. This year was pretty good, I can't complain too much about the events or lack thereof. Things happened, other things didn't. I'm starting to feel like the events aren't going to be very important for me for a little while. What I'm worried about is what I'm learning, and maybe what I'm not learning.
My only knock on 2009 is precisely what I loved about 2009: Action over words. On the one hand, I no longer feel like I am underground. I was a basement dweller manifest in thought and belief and somehow this year I felt as though I wasn't only promoted at work, I was promoted to stand on my own two feet, above ground, and start walking in the directions that I diligently planned out for the years prior. On the other hand, I'm a bit uncomfortable with the idea that this year I handed out a lot more answers than I did questions. I'm not scared to guide people, I just feel as though there is a pressing wall of confusion I still need to break through. Something that still separates me from getting it all. Sometimes I feel like I'm leading my friends and colleagues (big word for such a young guy) away from the bear trap but towards this invisible wall. I feel like I need to go back to to the lab, now, while the comet is still in orbit swirling above my head. Looking at it and showing people isn't giving me any answers. And so I have none for you.
So, 2010. Nobody's particularly excited this year in my circles, but I am. I have plans. Not just the type of plans that keep you busy (though they will). The kind of plans that I used to get excited about. The kind of plans that make you think, "Oh man, how is this going to turn out?" The kind of plans that take so much work, preparation, thought, time and effort that the crescendo actually happens prior to success, at the moment of anticipation. I don't even feel the New Year's pinch of "making the commitment, here and now, to get this done!" I would be silly not to do what I have planned for this year. I think this is maybe 1/100th the feeling a person has when he fees like he knows exactly what his whole life was meant for, but it's still very motivating.
I must forewarn, 2010 will involve a lot less words here in the Facebook note forum. I have so many words to say and not say out there in the world. I'll let you in on a few as we travel. But as I alluded to, I'm running low on answers, and so what you might tend to hear from me in bulk will be new questions. Between me and my friends, this will engender discussions of the higher order. For the rest of you just try to keep up.
Enjoy your New Year's Eve festivities, it's not ever year you get this many days to recover afterwards!
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