Sincerely,

It's 4am. 3:38 to be exact but I know I'll still be here in twenty minutes. Wondering sometimes why everyone won't leave me alone and wondering other times why everyone does. Right now, the cab driver that sees fit to blast Beyonce's Beautiful Nightmare has me pegged on the former. I appreciate as always the irony of that song being the soundtrack to this post.

I was exhausted, so I flew away. Here I am in another country and all of my problems are simply in another language. They haven't left me despite all of my efforts. I wonder when it was that we took our vows, was it more than a year ago? I believe so. I think I married my woes some many years back. This is my way of saying I am well passed an anullment, if I am going to free myself of this wretched ego the separation will not be pretty. All I want is full costody of my health and wits. My ego can keep the rest, which thinking it through is a bit selfish of me to say - what else is there that we had? Maybe that is why she fights me day in and day out for one or the other. The only 50/50 split for her is right down the middle through the heart brain and genitals.

So here I am with half my wits, half the caring, and half the drive. I kept the left side because I just figured soccer and writing would set me free. It has. It brings me closer to you each day. There was a me who only knew laughter because he was in touch with only the eternal. But he did not understand the temporary, particularly not concepts like yesterday. Now I know I exist in the past, yours. I exist in the present, mine. I exist in the future, ours. Has it ever been any different? I can only work on today myself but tomorrow I will need your help. Again and again I know tomorrow needs 2 signatures and a stamp. The man upstairs only seems to stamp tomorrows when we have both signed, otherwise we're stuck withdrawing from the present and past, haven't you noticed?

It's just after 4, and in the naked light of yesterday I'm looking forward only. I want only tomorrow. I'll sign first.