It's getting chilly.

This is where I would regularly compensate for my previous romantically-involved post. Typically, I would write an angry post, or worse yet a funny one. Why? So as to vainly cover my image, in hopes that people won’t think that I’m too sensitive. Why? Because nobody likes a sensitive guy. Girls actually don’t, it was all a lie. And obviously given the choice, my boys would prefer the more rugged outdoorsy Jamil, rather then the sensitive family sedan model.

I’m far less concerned with my image then before. I’ve come to realise that people basically size you up in and around the first three conversations they have with you, and typically they'll remember the things that reinforce their presumptions and ignore the rest. So why work on one’s image, I say? It’s a self-defeating conquest.

Furthermore, I’m far less sensitive then before. So I guess I just have less to hide. I’m more or less unphased by the irregular dating habits and general preferences of hot chicks. Previously topics such as these caused me high levels of dissonance. Personal frustrations are also lessening. Given the options of more sleep or wakeful self-loathing, I now choose the former, only because sleep feels so good. In a sense, sleep is kind of like that ‘instant-gratification’ people seek to combat negative and hurtful feelings. Sleep, in other words, is my cigarette. Actually that’s a lie. Milkshakes are now my cigarette. The TD at Warden Woods is right beside a Baskin Robbins, and the lady there lets me make my own concoctions of milkshakes, any flavours, it’s nuts!

So am I solidifying into a noble and righteous man, or am I regressing further still into a pit of insecurity? I don’t know if I’m a valid judge of myself, but I don’t think it’s either case really. I’m more inclined to believe that I’m simply busy trying to get shit done. Soon December will come and I will sleep and go to work and eat, and then have ample time to revisit the question of “where I’m at” in life.

As of right now, the answer to that question is "by myself." As I think I've noted in a post last year, most people start jonesing for love around springtime. Wintertime is my peak. Romantic prospects however are minimal. Other then at work, I haven’t really met a single new person since September, let alone a lady, let alone a nice one…let alone a looker. I’ve been so busy that if this were a month ago and I had met someone who was interested in me I probably would have passed on her. In a month from now however, if history is any indication, desperation will be looming. Desperate or not, I don't even think there will be anyone there when I'm in need. Ho hum. At least there will be Fox Sports World and The Movie Network to pass the time.