In a week if it all goes well, I will have finally moved. There's a confluence of emotion that comes with moments like these. The best way to deal with any confluence is to simply list:
- I've lost the feeling of "at last" with this move. Part of me feels like it took too long, I should've been on my own in my 20s. Part of me feels like everything is unfolding as it should. None of me wants this to take any longer.
-Mortgage means bills. Bills means work. Work means sacrifice, but I will not sacrifice myself for my shelter. I'm encased in enough sheltering as it is - I will not lose who I am. When I say that I don't mean that I'm holding on to who I was, rather, it means I will not lose the opportunity to prove who I am. It's time to focus on my multiple careers, there is now too much at risk not to
- I wonder where toilet paper is on sale.
- I've never been on my own. Perhaps by doing so I will no longer want to be. How simple I might be.
- This moment is not as momentous as it will feel. A couple days after the move I will realize that I am still me, in a different city, not far from my old one. I'm still not on my own.
- Friday the 13th, good omen?
- I'm looking forward to better sleeping hours.
- I'm looking forward to better waking hours.
- I need to command a new set of proficiencies. This is not a hustle, it's the rest of my life. There's no turning back from here, there's only up or down.
- Forget curtains, and that price they can just look at me roam around naked.
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