Of all time...

Tomorrow I won't be here

Don't look for me

I am deathly afraid 

Of being stuck

In the past

The past is all I know

I have a great memory

And greater memories

Of when everything was vibrant

And full of hope

The future

It used to be a cherished prize

What more wonders might unfold

With unexpected happiness

And sadness filled with lessons

Tomorrow I won't be here

Don't look for me

I will panic and look for lovers

And more lovers

Instead of love

Past lovers are all I know

I have a poor memory

And so, poor memories

Of how they hurt me

And how I hurt them

The future looks grim

It has turned into an obligation

What time is left for wonders

When happiness eludes

And sadness comes with no lesson

...

Today I am here

You keep looking for me

But I am not good for you

I took our happiness

And turned it to sadness

You think these words help me

But they destroy me

Sudden realizations

That what I want

Is less than what you want

The present is filled with guilt

Would you have been happier

If I never gave it a try

If we never met at all

Would you know that you are worthy

Today I am here

You keep looking for me

Because yours is a determined love

You wish only for our combined happiness

But defiantly reject our individual sadness

You think I speak from above

But below is where I dwell

I keep trying something new

Because the way I used to love

Has failed me numerous times

The present is filled with anguish

Would I have been happier

Alone this entire year

Instead of trying each time

To find some love

...

Yesterday I was here

Looking for a way out

Because I hate hurting you

You worked so hard to make me happy 

I think because you knew I was sad

My heart can be manipulated

I want to believe that someone wants me

I felt overcome with obligation

Upholding your love so strong

With my weakened conviction

My past has taught me

That love is permanent

But relationships are temporary

And not in my control

Even when I'm in control

Yesterday I was here

Looking for a way in

Because I hate seeing you hurt

I tried so hard to make you smile in the face of waves

Not knowing you would have to face mine

My heart hates being manipulated

I want to believe that it was me 

That you love, and not your life

That needs changing, because I can't

Hold your hand and teach you to swim

Our past has taught me

That love is clear

But desire is misleading

You can be running away

Even when you try to run towards

...  ...

Forever I am grateful for the love we shared  

It was love that we shared, in the face of desires  

I'm sorry that this ended before you could smile at its worth  

I'm sorry this ended before I could embrace its worth

Please stay open, and share with the world what you have inside