We look for meaning. We relate things to other things to understand the former things. We search outside for an explanation of the inside. I'm doing this as we speak. I'm asking why society displays a pattern to try to explain why I act a certain way. Let me attempt to search for meaning the right way:
I want it all. I don't know or care what I deserve. I don't mind living a life of fulfilment at the expense of jusice. I think that is justice. When it's all over He will ask me what I learned and whether I spent the time to persue my dreams or rather wasted the gift of life he offered me. Purgatory is for those who decide they'll wait until the next life to live. Wait indeed they shall.
This pain is not justice. It was not doled out this suffering for a reason, only a purpose. Trancendemce isn't a state of being but rather a description of being. Do I transcend? Or am I a slave to peaks and troughs - am I obsessed with the idea that I must ascend from this pit? I will light ablaze all of this mud and mudslingers alike and when my ashes pass the mountaintops take note and remember who lit up your night sky. I brought about the morning before your sunrise and perished within my own flames of desire. The hottest fire burns blue.
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